How to make long distance relationships work
Long Distance relationships that thrives and grows stronger over time. We tapped experts for their advice on the best long-distance relationship tips, what to talk about with your long-distance partner, and more ways to keep it interesting while you’re apart.
Find out if long distance relationship is for you
Long distance relationship is certainly not for everyone. It does not work for every one either. First, knowing what your love language is will determine if long distance relationships will work perfectly for you.
What is your love language?
Love language is simply defined as the best way one can express love to you. Love language is the key to your partner’s heart. Gary Chapman gave a list of 5 different love languages in his book “The 5 Love Languages’. They are:
- Act of service
- Gift giving
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.
Acts of service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
Receiving gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
Quality time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention
Physical touch : Expressing love through physical contact such as hugging. etc.
Source of definition: Lifehacker.com
How to make long Distance relationships work
1. It is very difficult if your love language is physical touch
If you read about the Love languages above and you discover your love language is physical touch, long distance relationships will be difficult for you to hold. Because for you to be in constant connection with that person your love language says you need physical touch or contact to keep in touch . long distance relationship is usually not advised for physical touch people.
2. Don’t talk every day.
You might think talking every single day when you’re in an LDR is a must. The truth is, experts say it’s really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. “You don’t need to be in constant communication,” Davis says. “Keep some of the mystery alive!”
If you go a few days without talking to your S.O., you’ll have a more interesting conversation to look forward to in a few days. Plus, keeping tabs on another person and providing them with constant updates can get exhausting.
3. Remember that your partner isn’t perfect.
“Some partners tend to idealize their relationship, and remember it as better than it actually is,” says eHarmony research scientist Jonny Beber. “Research has shown that couples with more idealization in their relationship are more likely to break up due to an unstable relationship.”
4. Keep calls short and sweet.
“Make sure that phone calls, texts, Skype or Facetime are engaging,” Lavelle recommends. “Skyping with your partner and being distracted by other things will have a much greater negative impact than doing the same while sitting next to each other. Make sure you engage.”
5. Learn to recognize and control your own emotions
Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time–now and in the future.
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6. Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship
Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. If you’re feeling jealous, figure out how to control your jealousy before it starts to control you. It’s not easy, but it can be done.
7.Talk honestly about money
If finances are tight, money can become a major source of resentment–especially if finances are keeping you apart, traveling to see each other is expensive, and/or one partner has to spend a lot more money than the other to keep the relationship going. Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict.
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