How to heal from heartbreak
Heartbreak is so rough, it makes me literally never want to date another human again. But that’s no way to go about life, I’m just another FOOL FOR LOVE. Because I’m practical AF, I like to have a plan in mind for when I’m feeling heartbroken.
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How to heal when heartbroken
- Make a List Of Things To Look Forward To. Not a to-do list, but a list of things you can look forward to in the near to distant future. These should all be fun and great. It’ll give you nice little things to think about when you fall asleep at night and find your mind drifting to how nice his lips felt, or how you used to laugh together at that one dumb YouTube video. There are better things in life that don’t involve him and you need a reminder sometimes.
- Feel all the feelings. There’s no sense in swallowing your tears in order to maintain some faux sense of pride and stoicism that no one expects from you anyway. Shove all those feelings down and they’ll only come back later when it’s least convenient, like at work on a stressful day or in traffic or something.
- Make friends with your heartbreak. You may be tempted to try and forget the past, numbing the pain with rebound sex or a date with a gallon of ice cream. Or you may harden your heart and swear off all future relationships. But that’s the cowardly approach, and one that won’t serve you well in the long run. “It takes a lot of courage to be sad,” says Piver, “but a fantastic life is not one that is placidly happy.” With grieving comes increased awareness: of what’s truly important to you; whom you love; who loves you.
- Turn up the radio. Science suggests that music has a therapeutic effect. (No, not that breakup album with the sad, lovesick songs.) Blare some of your favorite, feel-good tunes: Listening to them can trigger the release of endorphins, lifting your spirits and combating stress.
- Give love. Perhaps at no other time than post-breakup do we want love so much, Piver says. But instead of desperately searching, give love, to anyone, in any situation. “There’s always a chance of loving,” Piver says. “That is how you balance the sorrow and rage from the heartbreak you’re dealing with—by giving love to whatever situation or person you are interacting with. That is the secret.”
- Do something to rearrange your bedroom. This could mean moving your bed to a different location, or finally completing that totally Instagrammable gallery wall you’ve been dying for. Make your surroundings feel fresh.
- Know the difference between grief and depression. There is often a fine line between the two, and normal heartbreak can sometimes transform into full-blown depression. How to tell the difference? In depression, nothing seems to matter, Piver writes, whereas with sadness, everything does. A telltale sign that depression is setting in is that you ruminate nonstop about the breakup, and ” you cannot stop your mind from tormenting you with very painful thoughts,” Piver says.