7 Signs of a highly healthy relationship
Healthy relationship needs work. Husbands and wives have to actively work to keep it happy: interrogating their communication methods, making sure to treat one and other with respect, making sure you both have the ability to grow independently. So, what are some signs of couples who are doing it right?
They respect each-other
Every couple fights. And everyone says things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. But, when there’s legitimate bile behind the berating, it’s a problem. “Contempt is a genuine devaluing and disrespect for the other person,” Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C, a marriage counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center, told us. “Respect is essential in a marriage, and it can still exist even in the face of disagreement or anger.
They appreciate one another
Appreciation is everything in a marriage. And couples who make it a point to validate one another are in a better place. “Validation is for being seen for what you’re contributing, even if it’s mundane and routine,” Dr. Emily Upshur, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City, told us. Parenting is a never-ending game of Did I Just Do Anything Right? It’s easy to feel doubt, let alone any sense of confidence.
There are no assumptions about household Chores
It’s easy for a couple to think that they’ll be great at splitting household duties and internalize their thoughts without every discussing it. This leads to serious problems because assumptions are made. The best advice? Talk about who’s doing what. “The couples who have the conversation [about division of household labor] are the ones who are more aware of it and they actually do the best,” says Darcy Lockman, a mom, psychologist, and author of All the Rage.
The schedule time to enjoy themselves like a couple
Parenting often comes with a biggie-sized side order of identity crisis. It’s easy to feel like roommates or co-workers instead of romantic partners. Couples must be sure to take measures to recognize this side. One couple we spoke to offered this wisdom: “Part of our issue was internal battles that Rebecca was having about parts of her that she felt like she had lost when she became a mom. About every two weeks, she would go through this cycle of feeling like she needed to get away.
They accept counselling when Issues arise
Marriage counseling is a good thing. It allows you to speak about issues with a knowledgeable third party who can help you gain perspective. “Whatever the problem is, if you have been unable to solve it on your own, a professional couple’s counselor can help enormously,” Bilek says.
They compliment themselves often more than they quarrel
Criticisms are necessary in any relationship. That’s how partners evolve and understand issues. But criticism alone cannot sustain a partnership. “If you are criticizing each other more than you’re complimenting each other, you’re headed for trouble,” Bilek says. “In fact, research shows that you need five positive statements to counteract every negative one in order to keep a relationship on good terms.”
Read also: The attitude of gratitude
They support eachother’s development
It’s crucial to grow together. But it’s also important for partners to let one another grow on their own. Being needy and clingy all the time can be a drain on your partner’s emotions and ultimately lead to them giving you attention out of obligation as opposed to desire.